This week, I experienced a small miracle.
I was getting ready to write about forgiveness for my monthly column in a Franciscan magazine “Svjetlo Riječi” (printed in Sarajevo, Bosnia and Herzegovina).
I considered all the usual ways we experience forgiveness – in giving it and receiving.
I thought about how forgiveness is in everything and is everywhere.
It was in the news this past week, even if it was hard to recognize it underneath the brutalities, anger, violence, conflict, and hatred. It’s there. It has to be. Mothers who lose their children to murder would die without grace and the ability to forgive…
I thought about how forgiveness is what has kept our species alive. If it wasn’t present, at any point in history, we could have carried on revenge for being hurt until no one remained.
Then, in my online course, I was learning how accumulated anger or resentment can negatively affect our health – both mental and physical. Forgiveness is a release of anger and resentment.
So, it’s true… for our own healing and the healing of others, we need to practice forgiveness.
Then I Googled it and found really good and simple explanations of what forgiveness is and what it’s not.
It’s not:
- ‘letting someone off the hook’ (because we need to validate what happened so we can stop the destructive cycle)
- ‘burying the hatchet’ (the hatchet is still there – we just don’t see it)
- ‘just let go and move on’ (because depending on how traumatic the hurt was, our minds and bodies will remember it)
- Excusing someone else’s hurtful behavior
- Reconciliation (that’s a different process)
This week, I experienced a small miracle.
I was getting ready to write about forgiveness for my monthly column in a Franciscan magazine “Svjetlo Riječi” (printed in Sarajevo, Bosnia and Herzegovina).
I considered all the usual ways we experience forgiveness – in giving it and receiving.
I thought about how forgiveness is in everything and is everywhere.
It was in the news this past week, even if it was hard to recognize it underneath the brutalities, anger, violence, conflict, and hatred. It’s there. It has to be. Mothers who lose their children to murder would die without grace and the ability to forgive…
I thought about how forgiveness is what has kept our species alive. If it wasn’t present, at any point in history, we could have carried on revenge for being hurt until no one remained.
Then, in my online course, I was learning how accumulated anger or resentment can negatively affect our health – both mental and physical. Forgiveness is a release of anger and resentment.
So, it’s true… for our own healing and the healing of others, we need to practice forgiveness.
Then I Googled it and found really good and simple explanations of what forgiveness is and what it’s not.
It’s not:
- ‘letting someone off the hook’ (because we need to validate what happened so we can stop the destructive cycle)
- ‘burying the hatchet’ (the hatchet is still there – we just don’t see it)
- ‘just let go and move on’ (because depending on how traumatic the hurt was, our minds and bodies will remember it)
- Excusing someone else’s hurtful behavior
- Reconciliation (that’s a different process)
Forgiveness is a process – and one that includes forgiving the person who hurt us AND, more importantly, extending the forgiveness to ourselves (there is more, but for the sake of this newsletter, I’ll stop here. :))
Now, the ‘miracle’ part 🙂
Unrelated to writing my article (but connected because, well, everything is so wondrously connected), I had a beautiful session with my therapist/ coach Julia in which forgiveness showed up – quite unexpectedly.
I asked her to help me release some anxiety around something really not that significant. I was just curious why I was feeling it in the first place. When forgiveness came up, she asked me to spend a few moments with it.
There are always parts of us that need to be extended forgiveness around a past event.
Mine was connected to this quite subtle and maybe ‘insignificant’ but real present anxiety. I could never go back and get the acknowledgment of my hurt and the apology from the person who caused it, but I could extend it to myself.
Supported by Love (and Grace) and my therapist, I engaged in the gentle process of activating forgiveness, and noticed an immediate change – my body was at peace. I could now proceed without that piece of anxiety bothering me 🙂
Now I also had a beautiful story to write on the topic of forgiveness, and I did! (I’ll share it with you once it’s published)
Before I turned it in, I checked out Julia’s website.
I found this beautiful quote on her home page:
There came a time when the risk to
remain tight in the bud was more painful
than the risk it took to blossom.
– Anais Nin
Two days later, I had lunch with a friend I hadn’t seen in years. She brought me a small gift that she said just felt she had to give me. When she saw it in a store, there was a voice that told her to get it for me.
It was a small pillow with the words: “Just bloom.”
🙂
So…
I invite you to reflect on forgiveness, but also to observe what feelings or sensations come up for you this weekend…
What are you feeling and why?
Journal about it, talk to someone, be curious…
Find out what’s behind it and how a deeper release of it (or perhaps forgiveness) can help you bloom 🙂
Forgiveness is a process – and one that includes forgiving the person who hurt us AND, more importantly, extending the forgiveness to ourselves (there is more, but for the sake of this newsletter, I’ll stop here. :))
Now, the ‘miracle’ part 🙂
Unrelated to writing my article (but connected because, well, everything is so wondrously connected), I had a beautiful session with my therapist/ coach Julia in which forgiveness showed up – quite unexpectedly.
I asked her to help me release some anxiety around something really not that significant. I was just curious why I was feeling it in the first place. When forgiveness came up, she asked me to spend a few moments with it.
There are always parts of us that need to be extended forgiveness around a past event.
Mine was connected to this quite subtle and maybe ‘insignificant’ but real present anxiety. I could never go back and get the acknowledgment of my hurt and the apology from the person who caused it, but I could extend it to myself.
Supported by Love (and Grace) and my therapist, I engaged in the gentle process of activating forgiveness, and noticed an immediate change – my body was at peace. I could now proceed without that piece of anxiety bothering me 🙂
Now I also had a beautiful story to write on the topic of forgiveness, and I did! (I’ll share it with you once it’s published)
Before I turned it in, I checked out Julia’s website.
I found this beautiful quote on her home page:
There came a time when the risk to
remain tight in the bud was more painful
than the risk it took to blossom.
– Anais Nin
Two days later, I had lunch with a friend I hadn’t seen in years. She brought me a small gift that she said just felt she had to give me. When she saw it in a store, there was a voice that told her to get it for me.
It was a small pillow with the words: “Just bloom.”
🙂
So…
I invite you to reflect on forgiveness, but also to observe what feelings or sensations come up for you this weekend…
What are you feeling and why?
Journal about it, talk to someone, be curious…
Find out what’s behind it and how a deeper release of it (or perhaps forgiveness) can help you bloom 🙂
Music
Here is the song about Forgiveness I wrote in 1999! It’s on my album “Now and Forever” and features my dear friend and amazing musician Christoph Bull on accordion 🙂
At that time of my life, I was working through a lot of stuff I needed to forgive myself for. This song sings about all the joys and blessings, and the one prayer that unlocks our ability to truly immerse ourselves into it.
“Oh Lord, you’ve given me life so beautiful
Wherever I look there’s a little piece of you
You put the stars in the sky,
You know the depths of my heart…
Every breath I take is a proof of your love
Every step I make I pray you’re beside me
To hold my hand when the night gets dark
When I need to know, to be my guide…
And let this be my prayer
That we may find a ways
To learn to forgive with love that you give.
Oh Lord, you’ve given me life so beautiful
Wherever I look there’s a little piece of you
You make the flowers grow
You are my song…”
Here is the song about Forgiveness I wrote in 1999! It’s on my album “Now and Forever” and features my dear friend and amazing musician Christoph Bull on accordion 🙂
At that time of my life, I was working through a lot of stuff I needed to forgive myself for. This song sings about all the joys and blessings, and the one prayer that unlocks our ability to truly immerse ourselves into it.
“Oh Lord, you’ve given me life so beautiful
Wherever I look there’s a little piece of you
You put the stars in the sky,
You know the depths of my heart…
Every breath I take is a proof of your love
Every step I make I pray you’re beside me
To hold my hand when the night gets dark
When I need to know, to be my guide…
And let this be my prayer
That we may find a ways
To learn to forgive with love that you give.
Oh Lord, you’ve given me life so beautiful
Wherever I look there’s a little piece of you
You make the flowers grow
You are my song…”
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AND live your dream life.
Get weekly emails, exclusive content. special offers and
event updates directly to your inbox.