How’s your summer going?
I found this on my FB and thought it was funny (and a little bit true) LOL
“Europeans’ out of offices are like: ‘I will not be working until 18 September. All emails will be automatically deleted.’
Americans: ‘I’m in the hospital. Email responses may be delayed by up to 30 mins. Sorry for the inconvenience. If urgent, please reach me in the ER at…’”
As you can imagine, I’m doing a combination of the two. I’m working and spending time resting, sitting on my deck enjoying my gardens, and going to the pool with the kids.
It’s not that I can’t take the whole summer off. I don’t really want to 🙂
I’m also taking another certification course (on meditation this time) AND working with an International Coaching Federation mentor on earning an Associate Certified Coach (ACC) credential, on a path to getting a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) credential after that.
Our mentor is an amazing Master Certified Coach (MCC) and it’s so cool to be learning from her. She demonstrates how a coach (as defined by the ICF), only asks questions and reflects back what she hears from a client, allowing them to find solutions on their own (which always sticks better than any advice and produces better results).
This is exactly why I love coaching. It’s so rewarding to witness a breakthrough in a client when they uncover a solution or a path to their desired outcome – all on their own!
I also genuinely love asking questions. I’ve experienced a lot of growth and ‘moving ahead’ through curiosity and the courage to question and challenge my stuck points.
Questions lead me to ponderings and reflections which, without fail, uncover some insight, a new perspective, or a connection that I hadn’t seen or thought of before.
This past week, I pondered what happens when we replace “I can’t” with “I don’t want to.”
How’s your summer going?
I found this on my FB and thought it was funny (and a little bit true) LOL
“Europeans’ out of offices are like: ‘I will not be working until 18 September. All emails will be automatically deleted.’
Americans: ‘I’m in the hospital. Email responses may be delayed by up to 30 mins. Sorry for the inconvenience. If urgent, please reach me in the ER at…’”
As you can imagine, I’m doing a combination of the two. I’m working and spending time resting, sitting on my deck enjoying my gardens, and going to the pool with the kids.
It’s not that I can’t take the whole summer off. I don’t really want to 🙂
I’m also taking another certification course (on meditation this time) AND working with an International Coaching Federation mentor on earning an Associate Certified Coach (ACC) credential, on a path to getting a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) credential after that.
Our mentor is an amazing Master Certified Coach (MCC) and it’s so cool to be learning from her. She demonstrates how a coach (as defined by the ICF), only asks questions and reflects back what she hears from a client, allowing them to find solutions on their own (which always sticks better than any advice and produces better results).
This is exactly why I love coaching. It’s so rewarding to witness a breakthrough in a client when they uncover a solution or a path to their desired outcome – all on their own!
I also genuinely love asking questions. I’ve experienced a lot of growth and ‘moving ahead’ through curiosity and the courage to question and challenge my stuck points.
Questions lead me to ponderings and reflections which, without fail, uncover some insight, a new perspective, or a connection that I hadn’t seen or thought of before.
This past week, I pondered what happens when we replace “I can’t” with “I don’t want to.”
For example, one evening my son felt tired and said he had to call his friends to tell them he couldn’t go out with them. That made him feel bad. He also didn’t want them to pressure him into going. I asked, “What would happen if you said to them that you just wanted to stay home and rest?” Because that was really more true.
After he got off the phone with them, he came back to me relieved and happy. They understood and accepted his answer, without making him feel bad. They are good friends and want what’s best for my son. So easy, right?
A friend of mine said she couldn’t wear a certain pair of shoes and that made her sad. I asked “Is it true that you can’t? Or is it more true that you don’t want to wear those shoes because you love feeling good, aren’t into torturing yourself, and you prefer your feet not hurting?” She smiled and gave me a high five. “Who needs those shoes anyway!” We laughed.
It’s a small mindset shift that can make a huge difference in how we feel – either defeated because we ‘can’t do something’ or empowered because we actually don’t want it badly enough to make all the sacrifices it would require.
Here is another example:
Yesterday was a full moon. It was gorgeous. As I looked at it, I thought about how, at some point, someone’s “I want to go to the moon” became stronger than “I can’t go to the moon” and the possibility of developing the technology was opened. The process of finding a solution to change the ‘can’t go to the moon’ was put into motion.
Cool, right? And powerful.
For example, one evening my son felt tired and said he had to call his friends to tell them he couldn’t go out with them. That made him feel bad. He also didn’t want them to pressure him into going. I asked, “What would happen if you said to them that you just wanted to stay home and rest?” Because that was really more true.
After he got off the phone with them, he came back to me relieved and happy. They understood and accepted his answer, without making him feel bad. They are good friends and want what’s best for my son. So easy, right?
A friend of mine said she couldn’t wear a certain pair of shoes and that made her sad. I asked “Is it true that you can’t? Or is it more true that you don’t want to wear those shoes because you love feeling good, aren’t into torturing yourself, and you prefer your feet not hurting?” She smiled and gave me a high five. “Who needs those shoes anyway!” We laughed.
It’s a small mindset shift that can make a huge difference in how we feel – either defeated because we ‘can’t do something’ or empowered because we actually don’t want it badly enough to make all the sacrifices it would require.
Here is another example:
Yesterday was a full moon. It was gorgeous. As I looked at it, I thought about how, at some point, someone’s “I want to go to the moon” became stronger than “I can’t go to the moon” and the possibility of developing the technology was opened. The process of finding a solution to change the ‘can’t go to the moon’ was put into motion.
Cool, right? And powerful.
You can always say to yourself “I can’t” (go on the trip I’ve wanted to take for the last 10 years), but what you really mean is “I don’t want to” (because it would take way too many sacrifices, figuring things out, moving finances around, getting a passport, and finding someone to take care of your dog, and, and, and…)
There is so much power in switching those words – not just in saying them, but how you think about what you ‘can’t’ do and ‘want’ to do.
Try it this week.
When you think ‘I can’t’ pause and ask if it’s true that you ‘can’t’ or is it more true that you simply don’t want to. And feel good about not wanting it. Release the pressure that comes with ‘I’d love to, but I can’t.’
And if, in the process of reflecting on it, you realize why it is important to you, and you know you actually really want it to happen, then lean into it.
Let it happen. Let your desire open up the paths to possibilities. Know that if people could make a rocket and launch themselves into outer space (like Sir Richard Branson did a few weeks ago and Jeff Bezos last week), you’ll find solutions to take steps toward whatever it is you really want. (NOTE: the wise spiritual teachers tell us that God gives us what we desire, but only if it benefits others, not just satisfies our ego.)
All right, I want to end this newsletter now and go play, because it’s Saturday and it’s summer and I want to play, rather than say to my kids ‘I can’t, I got work to do.’ LOL 🙂
For example, one evening my son felt tired and said he had to call his friends to tell them he couldn’t go out with them. That made him feel bad. He also didn’t want them to pressure him into going. I asked, “What would happen if you said to them that you just wanted to stay home and rest?” Because that was really more true.
After he got off the phone with them, he came back to me relieved and happy. They understood and accepted his answer, without making him feel bad. They are good friends and want what’s best for my son. So easy, right?
A friend of mine said she couldn’t wear a certain pair of shoes and that made her sad. I asked “Is it true that you can’t? Or is it more true that you don’t want to wear those shoes because you love feeling good, aren’t into torturing yourself, and you prefer your feet not hurting?” She smiled and gave me a high five. “Who needs those shoes anyway!” We laughed.
It’s a small mindset shift that can make a huge difference in how we feel – either defeated because we ‘can’t do something’ or empowered because we actually don’t want it badly enough to make all the sacrifices it would require.
Here is another example:
Yesterday was a full moon. It was gorgeous. As I looked at it, I thought about how, at some point, someone’s “I want to go to the moon” became stronger than “I can’t go to the moon” and the possibility of developing the technology was opened. The process of finding a solution to change the ‘can’t go to the moon’ was put into motion.
Cool, right? And powerful.
You can always say to yourself “I can’t” (go on the trip I’ve wanted to take for the last 10 years), but what you really mean is “I don’t want to” (because it would take way too many sacrifices, figuring things out, moving finances around, getting a passport, and finding someone to take care of your dog, and, and, and…)
There is so much power in switching those words – not just in saying them, but how you think about what you ‘can’t’ do and ‘want’ to do.
Try it this week.
When you think ‘I can’t’ pause and ask if it’s true that you ‘can’t’ or is it more true that you simply don’t want to. And feel good about not wanting it. Release the pressure that comes with ‘I’d love to, but I can’t.’
And if, in the process of reflecting on it, you realize why it is important to you, and you know you actually really want it to happen, then lean into it.
Let it happen. Let your desire open up the paths to possibilities. Know that if people could make a rocket and launch themselves into outer space (like Sir Richard Branson did a few weeks ago and Jeff Bezos last week), you’ll find solutions to take steps toward whatever it is you really want. (NOTE: the wise spiritual teachers tell us that God gives us what we desire, but only if it benefits others, not just satisfies our ego.)
All right, I want to end this newsletter now and go play, because it’s Saturday and it’s summer and I want to play, rather than say to my kids ‘I can’t, I got work to do.’ LOL 🙂
Music
Here is a beautiful old classic country song that I love to sing. “Blue Kentucky Girl” written by Johnny Mullins, and originally recorded by the amazing Loretta Lynn. I can’t wait to sing it this coming week at St. Philip’s Summer Concert Series in downtown Franklin, TN!
Here is a beautiful old classic country song that I love to sing. “Blue Kentucky Girl” written by Johnny Mullins, and originally recorded by the amazing Loretta Lynn. I can’t wait to sing it this coming week at St. Philip’s Summer Concert Series in downtown Franklin, TN!
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AND live your dream life.
Get weekly emails, exclusive content. special offers and
event updates directly to your inbox.