“Peace, peace, only peace” my mom would say while placing her hand gently on my cheek..
It was the same peace as in “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you.”
I received it with an open heart. I would let it fill every cell of my body with comfort, a sense of safety and a deep calm.
But it would take me years to learn how to hold it on my own, to cultivate it and access it, so I could go to it in times of stress, fear, or grief.
The journey to inner peace is a process for all of us. There is no magic wand that delivers a once-for-all fix. The process is what makes us appreciate the inner peace and its value in our lives.
We are all born with it, but as soon as we are cut from our mother’s umbilical cord, we begin to experience our body/mind’s reaction to our basic human needs (both physical and emotional needs).
When our needs are met, peace is restored. When they aren’t met, we feel disturbance and a whole lot of unpleasant emotions.
Peace signals that love is present, that we are safe, and that all is well. The unmet needs trigger fear that we will perish (which is a beautiful part of our survival instinct and not ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’).
From that moment on, we spend our lives remembering the peace and love we came from, longing to live in it, and searching for ways to make it happen again.
As we grow, our basic emotional and physical needs change, and bring new challenges of how those needs are being met.
When we gain the awareness that this journey of searching to restore the inner peace in itself is a beautiful, sacred gift of being human, we begin to accept all of its parts – every storm, every turbulent season, every dark night, and all the beautiful sunny days in between.
With this acceptance, inner peace shows up like the blue skies when the fog lifts up.
The unpleasant feelings come and go like waves on the beach.
We understand that the turbulence disturbs the surface, but not the depths of our being. We are able to recognize our needs and fill them – not with easy fixes, but through being connected with ourselves, others, and God.
“Peace, peace, only peace” my mom would say while placing her hand gently on my cheek..
It was the same peace as in “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you.”
I received it with an open heart. I would let it fill every cell of my body with comfort, a sense of safety and a deep calm.
But it would take me years to learn how to hold it on my own, to cultivate it and access it, so I could go to it in times of stress, fear, or grief.
The journey to inner peace is a process for all of us. There is no magic wand that delivers a once-for-all fix. The process is what makes us appreciate the inner peace and its value in our lives.
We are all born with it, but as soon as we are cut from our mother’s umbilical cord, we begin to experience our body/mind’s reaction to our basic human needs (both physical and emotional needs).
When our needs are met, peace is restored. When they aren’t met, we feel disturbance and a whole lot of unpleasant emotions.
Peace signals that love is present, that we are safe, and that all is well. The unmet needs trigger fear that we will perish (which is a beautiful part of our survival instinct and not ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’).
From that moment on, we spend our lives remembering the peace and love we came from, longing to live in it, and searching for ways to make it happen again.
As we grow, our basic emotional and physical needs change, and bring new challenges of how those needs are being met.
When we gain the awareness that this journey of searching to restore the inner peace in itself is a beautiful, sacred gift of being human, we begin to accept all of its parts – every storm, every turbulent season, every dark night, and all the beautiful sunny days in between.
With this acceptance, inner peace shows up like the blue skies when the fog lifts up.
The unpleasant feelings come and go like waves on the beach.
We understand that the turbulence disturbs the surface, but not the depths of our being. We are able to recognize our needs and fill them – not with easy fixes, but through being connected with ourselves, others, and God.
This past week, I drove to Savannah to spend some time with two of my sons. There was no special event going on, nothing to be done – just to sit with them and be present. And to place my hands on their cheeks as my heart repeats: Peace, Peace, Only Peace.
I had some extra time, so I visited Hilton Head, where we used to go as a family each year.
I walked on the same beach where my sons (and their dad, my late husband) built sand castles, ran into the waves, laughed, and slept peacefully in my arms.
I felt deep, deep, steady inner peace.
I inhaled with gratitude.
I remembered years of feeling unrest, sadness, depression, anxiety, fear, unhappiness, and guilt because I couldn’t understand why I was feeling any of that.
I remembered the moment I decided to change and began the inner work that required practice – a daily practice of mindfulness, of cultivating awareness through meditation, healing the parts that felt broken, and understanding my needs better.
I exhaled gratitude, feeling peace, peace, only peace.
I invited the memories in and opened my heart a little wider to feel what had been imprinted into it. With peace as solid and steady, I could feel all of the feelings of gratitude.
These words came out (as I watched my fingers typing into the Notes app on my phone as if guided by some invisible dictation):
I sat down on a sand dune of a familiar beach
In perfect peace
watching the waves.Sadness came in and offered:
Don’t you wish you felt peace within a long time ago?
When you wished for something different and didn’t know what it was?
I nodded my head acknowledging the sadness
As it stung
Tears surged up
I welcomed them like the sand welcomes its wave
And I let them go, like the sand does –
With no resistance.
And the wave of sadness flowed back to where it came from .Then anger came in and spoke
In a harsh voice
You could have changed sooner
You could have experienced so many perfect moments
Instead you were so needy, restless, not knowing what was wrong!
I bit my lips
And felt my chest tightening
as my heart pulsed with an ache,
pushing the anger through its chambers
like the tide that pulses and moves the waves in and out
as their white foaming tips gently dissolved.Then a wave of compassion came.
You did your best
You did your best with the tools you had at the time.
You worked hard. You did good,
it whispered.
It was a gentle, and long, and beautiful wave
I watched it roll in and outI breathed and let it go too.
I used to hold onto it
All of it,
The memories, the sadness, the anger, the fear, the longing for what no longer can be, the guilt, the desire to change the past, and the comfort I needed to keep me from pain.What I didn’t know then – was that holding onto it is exactly what creates the storm – it makes the waves grow until they crush you.
The ocean showed me:
Let it pass.
Let the emotions and memories and the longing and desires
Come in and out
Like the waves.
Don’t resist
Breathe through them and with them.
Love them all
But let them go.
And return to the peace within
PS. Scientists tell us that every emotion lasts 90 seconds if you don’t feed it, or hold on to it. Like a wave, right? 🙂
I invite you to try it.
When unpleasant emotions arise, sit with them and let them pass like waves – with no judgment of resistance.
And maybe reflect on how your basic emotional needs are being met (they are: affection, affirmation, acceptance, attention.)
Sending you peace,
Tajci
This past week, I drove to Savannah to spend some time with two of my sons. There was no special event going on, nothing to be done – just to sit with them and be present. And to place my hands on their cheeks as my heart repeats: Peace, Peace, Only Peace.
I had some extra time, so I visited Hilton Head, where we used to go as a family each year.
I walked on the same beach where my sons (and their dad, my late husband) built sand castles, ran into the waves, laughed, and slept peacefully in my arms.
I felt deep, deep, steady inner peace.
I inhaled with gratitude.
I remembered years of feeling unrest, sadness, depression, anxiety, fear, unhappiness, and guilt because I couldn’t understand why I was feeling any of that.
I remembered the moment I decided to change and began the inner work that required practice – a daily practice of mindfulness, of cultivating awareness through meditation, healing the parts that felt broken, and understanding my needs better.
I exhaled gratitude, feeling peace, peace, only peace.
I invited the memories in and opened my heart a little wider to feel what had been imprinted into it. With peace as solid and steady, I could feel all of the feelings of gratitude.
These words came out (as I watched my fingers typing into the Notes app on my phone as if guided by some invisible dictation):
I sat down on a sand dune of a familiar beach
In perfect peace
watching the waves.
Sadness came in and offered:
Don’t you wish you felt peace within a long time ago?
When you wished for something different and didn’t know what it was?
I nodded my head acknowledging the sadness
As it stung
Tears surged up
I welcomed them like the sand welcomes its wave
And I let them go, like the sand does –
With no resistance.
And the wave of sadness flowed back to where it came from .
Then anger came in and spoke
In a harsh voice
You could have changed sooner
You could have experienced so many perfect moments
Instead you were so needy, restless, not knowing what was wrong!
I bit my lips
And felt my chest tightening
as my heart pulsed with an ache,
pushing the anger through its chambers
like the tide that pulses and moves the waves in and out
as their white foaming tips gently dissolved.
Then a wave of compassion came.
You did your best
You did your best with the tools you had at the time.
You worked hard. You did good,
it whispered.
It was a gentle, and long, and beautiful wave
I watched it roll in and out
I breathed and let it go too.
I used to hold onto it
All of it,
The memories, the sadness, the anger, the fear, the longing for what no longer can be, the guilt, the desire to change the past, and the comfort I needed to keep me from pain.
What I didn’t know then – was that holding onto it is exactly what creates the storm – it makes the waves grow until they crush you.
The ocean showed me:
Let it pass.
Let the emotions and memories and the longing and desires
Come in and out
Like the waves.
Don’t resist
Breathe through them and with them.
Love them all
But let them go.
And return to the peace within.
PS. Scientists tell us that every emotion lasts 90 seconds if you don’t feed it, or hold on to it. Like a wave, right? 🙂
I invite you to try it.
When unpleasant emotions arise, sit with them and let them pass like waves – with no judgment of resistance.
And maybe reflect on how your basic emotional needs are being met (they are: affection, affirmation, acceptance, attention.)
Sending you peace,
Tajci
Song
I wrote this song over a few trips, in 2006-07, literally walking on the same beach in Hilton Head.
I wrote this song over a few trips, in 2006-07, literally walking on the same beach in Hilton Head.
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Music to inspire and well-being coaching to
help you live a balanced and thriving life.
Get weekly emails, exclusive content. special offers and
event updates directly to your inbox.