“Give yourself more credit than criticism, more grace than judgment,” Kristina Kuzmic* said from the stage in a packed Nashville venue. My friend and I looked at each other. Yes. We both nodded in agreement.
I don’t remember the last time somebody had me belly laughing one moment and crying in another. With disarming honesty, Kristina spoke about motherhood, life, mental health, self-care, mess, and love.
I never knew that hearing about another mom pretending to use the bathroom so she could have a moment of peace to herself would feel so good LOL.
I never imagined that watching her tour manager throw dirty laundry, blocks, and toys all over the stage “so she would feel more at home and in her element” would make the Inner Critic inside my head relax and laugh with me.
One thing that didn’t surprise me was the deep ache and tears that got triggered when she spoke about loving her kids, giving them all she had and more, and still feeling like she was failing them.
We all want to be better and do more for those we love.
In the process, we forget to give ourselves credit and grace.
Criticism and Judgment become such familiar voices that we simply get used to living with them – even when the deep love with which we show up to our kids actually proves that all they need is our love.
Kristina’s tour is called “Hope & Humor.” It really does bring hope that this deep love will eventually bring us to a place where we love who we are, laugh more, and stress less.
“Give yourself more credit than criticism, more grace than judgment,” Kristina Kuzmic* said from the stage in a packed Nashville venue. My friend and I looked at each other. Yes. We both nodded in agreement.
I don’t remember the last time somebody had me belly laughing one moment and crying in another. With disarming honesty, Kristina spoke about motherhood, life, mental health, self-care, mess, and love.
I never knew that hearing about another mom pretending to use the bathroom so she could have a moment of peace to herself would feel so good LOL.
I never imagined that watching her tour manager throw dirty laundry, blocks, and toys all over the stage “so she would feel more at home and in her element” would make the Inner Critic inside my head relax and laugh with me.
One thing that didn’t surprise me was the deep ache and tears that got triggered when she spoke about loving her kids, giving them all she had and more, and still feeling like she was failing them.
We all want to be better and do more for those we love.
In the process, we forget to give ourselves credit and grace.
Criticism and Judgment become such familiar voices that we simply get used to living with them – even when the deep love with which we show up to our kids actually proves that all they need is our love.
Kristina’s tour is called “Hope & Humor.” It really does bring hope that this deep love will eventually bring us to a place where we love who we are, laugh more, and stress less.
PS. I finished writing this reflection one day last week, and the following day my son Blais asked me if I would drop him off at school for the band trip to Grand Nats. I felt bad for not thinking ahead about dropping him off.
He said the reason was that his car wouldn’t be sitting in the school’s parking lot for the weekend, but perhaps he just wanted me to see him off. All the other parents were there. Many were volunteering, bringing snacks, being a lot more involved than I had been this year…
The big send off was going to be half an hour later. I told him I wouldn’t stay because I still had to take care of a few things before I drove to Indy to watch him perform. But then I changed my mind.
“What side of the bus are you on?” I texted him. “Because I’m here.”
He ‘loved’ my text and responded “I’ll look for you and I’ll see you.”
Blais didn’t care how much I was doing for the band, he wasn’t comparing me with other moms. Looking for me, and SEEING me there was everything to him.
(Yup, more tears… triggered not by judgment or guilt, but grace and deep deep love.)
PS. I finished writing this reflection one day last week, and the following day my son Blais asked me if I would drop him off at school for the band trip to Grand Nats. I felt bad for not thinking ahead about dropping him off.
He said the reason was that his car wouldn’t be sitting in the school’s parking lot for the weekend, but perhaps he just wanted me to see him off. All the other parents were there. Many were volunteering, bringing snacks, being a lot more involved than I had been this year…
The big send off was going to be half an hour later. I told him I wouldn’t stay because I still had to take care of a few things before I drove to Indy to watch him perform. But then I changed my mind.
“What side of the bus are you on?” I texted him. “Because I’m here.”
He ‘loved’ my text and responded “I’ll look for you and I’ll see you.”
Blais didn’t care how much I was doing for the band, he wasn’t comparing me with other moms. Looking for me, and SEEING me there was everything to him.
(Yup, more tears… triggered not by judgment or guilt, but grace and deep deep love.)
Music
This deep love that we’re talking about today does something else too…
It helps us heal when we lose those we couldn’t have imagined our lives without.
Tomorrow is four years since Matthew passed away. The ache is the same, the grief is still real, we still miss him. 
What grows with time is the deep love that I rely on, lean into, and invite into my actions.
So here are two songs:
Love Lives On (because it’s how I best express what I’m feeling)
This deep love that we’re talking about today does something else too…
It helps us heal when we lose those we couldn’t have imagined our lives without.
Tomorrow is four years since Matthew passed away. The ache is the same, the grief is still real, we still miss him.
What grows with time is the deep love that I rely on, lean into, and invite into my actions.
So here are two songs:
Love Lives On (because it’s how I best express what I’m feeling)
And I’m My Own Grandpa (because Matthew would absolutely love a funny song to be played in his honor)
And I’m My Own Grandpa (because Matthew would absolutely love a funny song to be played in his honor)
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AND live your dream life.
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event updates directly to your inbox.