Tom Lorie, one of the hosts of the Mentor’s Show Radio, invited me back to his show and suggested we talk about brokenness.
During our interview, Tom talked about brokenness being pervasive in our culture – and our world.
You can see it everywhere…
In the systems that leave people hungry, sick, and homeless…
In wars being fought…
In industries that lose sight of humanity (and the planet that hosts them)…
In addictions, loneliness, depression, and suicides, which are all on the rise…
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the enormity of such a problem, so I chose to take an up-close and personal look at the brokenness.
At the core of a ‘broken’ system are humans – people whose brokenness went unprocessed or has not been tended to properly.
First of all, let’s clarify ‘brokenness.’
We use the word ‘broken’ in different instances: when a loved one leaves, they break our heart; someone’s spirit is broken and they lose joy and passion for life; unfulfilled wishes or desires leave us with broken dreams.
All of these describe experiences of something painful (that we feel in our body and explain with our mind). It’s a temporary state we are in, but one that can be changed.
Our experiences aren’t who we are. We are having these experiences.
Even when we feel ‘broken,’ at the core of who we are, we always remain whole. (Some call that core the soul, or the consciousness, or the true self. It’s the you that God knew before you were placed in your mother’s womb. It’s the you that passes on after you die.)
Every one of us will experience painful emotional moments. The sooner a child learns that it’s ok to feel sad, angry, frustrated, disappointed, lonely, etc, the more of a chance they have to embrace all of these experiences and learn to process them.
On the other hand, learning to suppress unpleasant feelings – and feeling bad or shameful for having them – leads to avoiding, distracting, or numbing those experiences. You lose the chance to learn how to process them properly. You lose the chance to build resilience, so that as life expands we can handle crises, losses, and even traumas.
Tom Lorie, one of the hosts of the Mentor’s Show Radio, invited me back to his show and suggested we talk about brokenness.
During our interview, Tom talked about brokenness being pervasive in our culture – and our world.
You can see it everywhere…
In the systems that leave people hungry, sick, and homeless…
In wars being fought…
In industries that lose sight of humanity (and the planet that hosts them)…
In addictions, loneliness, depression, and suicides, which are all on the rise…
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the enormity of such a problem, so I chose to take an up-close and personal look at the brokenness.
At the core of a ‘broken’ system are humans – people whose brokenness went unprocessed or has not been tended to properly.
First of all, let’s clarify ‘brokenness.’
We use the word ‘broken’ in different instances: when a loved one leaves, they break our heart; someone’s spirit is broken and they lose joy and passion for life; unfulfilled wishes or desires leave us with broken dreams.
All of these describe experiences of something painful (that we feel in our body and explain with our mind). It’s a temporary state we are in, but one that can be changed.
Our experiences aren’t who we are. We are having these experiences.
Even when we feel ‘broken,’ at the core of who we are, we always remain whole. (Some call that core the soul, or the consciousness, or the true self. It’s the you that God knew before you were placed in your mother’s womb. It’s the you that passes on after you die.)
Every one of us will experience painful emotional moments. The sooner a child learns that it’s ok to feel sad, angry, frustrated, disappointed, lonely, etc, the more of a chance they have to embrace all of these experiences and learn to process them.
On the other hand, learning to suppress unpleasant feelings – and feeling bad or shameful for having them – leads to avoiding, distracting, or numbing those experiences. You lose the chance to learn how to process them properly. You lose the chance to build resilience, so that as life expands we can handle crises, losses, and even traumas.
![Our Experiences aren't who we are.](png/12.png)
Now, let’s look at the unprocessed brokenness that causes all these hardships in the world.
We can have a broken bone, but even the broken bone will be broken only for a moment. Almost immediately after a fracture, the body will start the repairing and healing process. If the bone is set correctly, it will heal perfectly and we will regain the normal range of motion. If we let the bone heal without setting it back in its place, it will never be the same.
When it comes to the parts of us that can’t be x-rayed and checked for fractures – our mind and our hearts (emotions) – we often don’t apply the same treatment.
Feeling broken is ok. Who hasn’t felt some level of brokenness at different points in our lives?
But not addressing it is not ok.
You can see unprocessed hurt in someone who becomes a greedy, self-centered profiteer. You can see it in people who hurt others – when their own unattended brokenness develops into anger and hatred.
I can look at my own life and see broken relationships and mistakes I made from the place of unprocessed brokenness.
Most of us don’t have the right support, understanding, or even awareness of what’s happening.
But as I wrote last week – once you have even an ounce of awareness about it, you can’t become unaware of it.
Wellbeing (physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual) starts with observing and becoming aware of the habits that are nourishing and the ones that are toxic.
With that awareness, we can access the unprocessed brokenness and heal it. And yes, facing it and working on it might even mean that you’ll need to deconstruct it first and then put the pieces back together – much like a broken bone that has healed improperly.
I invite you to reflect on this, and if you feel inclined, listen to The Mentor’s Radio.
Tajci
PS. The Mentor’s Radio is available on all podcast streaming platforms.
Now, let’s look at the unprocessed brokenness that causes all these hardships in the world.
We can have a broken bone, but even the broken bone will be broken only for a moment. Almost immediately after a fracture, the body will start the repairing and healing process. If the bone is set correctly, it will heal perfectly and we will regain the normal range of motion. If we let the bone heal without setting it back in its place, it will never be the same.
When it comes to the parts of us that can’t be x-rayed and checked for fractures – our mind and our hearts (emotions) – we often don’t apply the same treatment.
Feeling broken is ok. Who hasn’t felt some level of brokenness at different points in our lives?
But not addressing it is not ok.
You can see unprocessed hurt in someone who becomes a greedy, self-centered profiteer. You can see it in people who hurt others – when their own unattended brokenness develops into anger and hatred.
I can look at my own life and see broken relationships and mistakes I made from the place of unprocessed brokenness.
Most of us don’t have the right support, understanding, or even awareness of what’s happening.
But as I wrote last week – once you have even an ounce of awareness about it, you can’t become unaware of it.
Wellbeing (physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual) starts with observing and becoming aware of the habits that are nourishing and the ones that are toxic.
With that awareness, we can access the unprocessed brokenness and heal it. And yes, facing it and working on it might even mean that you’ll need to deconstruct it first and then put the pieces back together – much like a broken bone that has healed improperly.
I invite you to reflect on this, and if you feel inclined, listen to The Mentor’s Radio.
Tajci
PS. The Mentor’s Radio is available on all podcast streaming platforms.
Music
Tom picked Dell’ Aurora Tu Sorgi Piu Bella for the show. It’s a beautiful Italian song I found in a small bookstore in Trieste, Italy.
It was 2006 and I was visiting Croatia (and Italy) because my dad was sick. I wanted to find a song in Italian to sing for him. He passed away in September that same year. (Coincidentally – or not – Tom and I taped the radio interview a day before my Dad’s birthday.)
Read more of the story about the song in the description as you listen to the song.
Tom picked Dell’ Aurora Tu Sorgi Piu Bella for the show. It’s a beautiful Italian song I found in a small bookstore in Trieste, Italy.
It was 2006 and I was visiting Croatia (and Italy) because my dad was sick. I wanted to find a song in Italian to sing for him. He passed away in September that same year. (Coincidentally – or not – Tom and I taped the radio interview a day before my Dad’s birthday.)
Read more of the story about the song in the description as you listen to the song.
Music to inspire and well-being coaching to
help you live a balanced and thriving life.
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Music to inspire and well-being coaching to
help you live a balanced and thriving life.
Get weekly emails, exclusive content. special offers and
event updates directly to your inbox.