The Relationship Between Time and Reward

“It’s a strange relationship between time and reward.”

This is what Boris Herrmann (who just completed Vandee Global 2020 – the around the world sailing race) said at the finish line: “[The race] has taught me a lot about patience and confidence…. Good things come with time. We have to wait 80 days for the arrival and for all these beautiful emotions and that it is not a pleasure trip. It’s a strange relationship between time and reward.”

I paused when I read it… I asked myself:

What is the relationship between time and reward?

How am I spending time while working toward a reward?

Do I tend to be patient or do I try to rush the process so I can feel the reward fast?

(Olivia Newton-John and her daughter Chloe releasing Window in the Wall, a song I co-wrote, is my most recent experience of ‘Good things come with time…’ and it’s not always a ‘pleasure trip.’)

I remembered the time when I was stuck and all I wanted was to somehow skip the ‘unpleasant’ to find myself at the finish line. I wished I could take a big jump and land in the vision of a life I wanted to experience (like Mary Poppins and Bert).

I prayed God would pick me up and drop me miraculously at a spot where my struggles would be over (and I would still be alive LOL).

And in all of that wishing, I ended up wishing time away. I’d say in frustration: I can’t wait until winter is over, or until (this or that) situation passes, until I’m older, calmer, have more gigs, money, time, etc…

By telling myself all will be good – and much better – in the future, I was also sending a message to my brain and my heart that the present really wasn’t good.

Even though there were plenty of good, amazing people around me and many beautiful moments in my present.

This self-talk made me only more frustrated, more impatient, more feeling stuck, stressed out, anxious, feeling afraid, overwhelmed, and in the end unmotivated…because the reward seemed so far away. Elusive really.

Because ‘someday when’ is never today. It’s always ahead.

Right about now, who hasn’t said: “When the pandemic is over, I’ll… “? We are ready to go out and attend concerts, have dinners with friends, see theatre plays, go dancing, retreating, workshopping, travelling, and (insert your own). We are tired and exhausted, we are grieving, we are feeling stuck and overwhelmed with all the hardships of our times.

We find it challenging to stay motivated to accomplish our goals and intentions …

The relationship between time and reward gets messy.

When you are sailing around the world, your motivation to keep going in all kinds of difficult conditions is literally a matter of survival.

When I asked Blais (my youngest son) what motivates him to go to school each morning (even when school is hard and monotonous) he gave me this look that said: “Uhm… do I have a choice?” LOL

But Boris (the skipper) also posted plenty of beautiful pictures of gorgeous sunsets and sunrises that were a part of his physically, emotionally, and mentally demanding journey.

He learned to depend on his team and his vessel. He spent time in solitude and reflection that changed him.

Blais said how his real motivation comes from thinking about seeing his friends, talking to them, and connecting.

What makes the difference is whether we are engaged in the present moment – as we travel toward the desired experience or goal – or disengaged from it.

Our level of motivation depends on how engaged we are.

“It’s a strange relationship between time and reward.”

This is what Boris Herrmann (who just completed Vandee Global 2020 – the around the world sailing race) said at the finish line: “[The race] has taught me a lot about patience and confidence…. Good things come with time. We have to wait 80 days for the arrival and for all these beautiful emotions and that it is not a pleasure trip. It’s a strange relationship between time and reward.”

I paused when I read it… I asked myself:

What is the relationship between time and reward?

How am I spending time while working toward a reward?

Do I tend to be patient or do I try to rush the process so I can feel the reward fast?

(Olivia Newton-John and her daughter Chloe releasing Window in the Wall, a song I co-wrote, is my most recent experience of ‘Good things come with time…’ and it’s not always a ‘pleasure trip.’)

I remembered the time when I was stuck and all I wanted was to somehow skip the ‘unpleasant’ to find myself at the finish line. I wished I could take a big jump and land in the vision of a life I wanted to experience (like Mary Poppins and Bert).

I prayed God would pick me up and drop me miraculously at a spot where my struggles would be over (and I would still be alive LOL).

And in all of that wishing, I ended up wishing time away. I’d say in frustration: I can’t wait until winter is over, or until (this or that) situation passes, until I’m older, calmer, have more gigs, money, time, etc…

By telling myself all will be good – and much better – in the future, I was also sending a message to my brain and my heart that the present really wasn’t good.

Even though there were plenty of good, amazing people around me and many beautiful moments in my present.

This self-talk made me only more frustrated, more impatient, more feeling stuck, stressed out, anxious, feeling afraid, overwhelmed, and in the end unmotivated…because the reward seemed so far away. Elusive really.

Because ‘someday when’ is never today. It’s always ahead.

Right about now, who hasn’t said: “When the pandemic is over, I’ll… “? We are ready to go out and attend concerts, have dinners with friends, see theatre plays, go dancing, retreating, workshopping, travelling, and (insert your own). We are tired and exhausted, we are grieving, we are feeling stuck and overwhelmed with all the hardships of our times.

We find it challenging to stay motivated to accomplish our goals and intentions …

The relationship between time and reward gets messy.

When you are sailing around the world, your motivation to keep going in all kinds of difficult conditions is literally a matter of survival.

When I asked Blais (my youngest son) what motivates him to go to school each morning (even when school is hard and monotonous) he gave me this look that said: “Uhm… do I have a choice?” LOL

But Boris (the skipper) also posted plenty of beautiful pictures of gorgeous sunsets and sunrises that were a part of his physically, emotionally, and mentally demanding journey.

He learned to depend on his team and his vessel. He spent time in solitude and reflection that changed him.

Blais said how his real motivation comes from thinking about seeing his friends, talking to them, and connecting.

What makes the difference is whether we are engaged in the present moment – as we travel toward the desired experience or goal – or disengaged from it.

Our level of motivation depends on how engaged we are.

Here are some of the little ‘hacks’ that help me stay motivated and engaged:

1. Finishing small tasks that give me an immediate boost of confidence. This could mean making a delicious, healthy, and nutritious dinner that won’t leave me craving chocolate. Or something more related to my goal, like editing only one chapter of my ‘big memoir. Or, taking Luna out for half of the walk because it’s too cold for the full one LOL.

2. Processing and decluttering. By cleaning my desk each night and taking time each week to clear the administrative tasks off of my to-do list, I feel a lot less overwhelmed. Unfinished house projects can also suck out my motivation, because it’s like they are screaming ‘failure’ or ‘you’ll never get on top of things’ at me every time I notice them. For the huge projects, I either go to #1, or I gently redirect the screaming voices by reminding myself that I love living in my warm, cozy as-is house. 🙂

3. Get plenty of sleep, laughter, and play. Seriously. The only thing I’m motivated for when I’m tired is to watch a movie or play Two Dots on my phone LOL… Laughing and playing with Luna each morning turns out to be a shot of energy that lasts a lot longer than a shot of espresso (laughter and play time releases endorphins).

4. You don’t have to do it alone. Staying engaged and motivated is easier with a team – a close friend who keeps you accountable, or a coach (let me know if you need one :)).

So, what comes up for you when you think about the relationship between time and reward?

How can you be more engaged and present as you work through your struggles, and move through the challenges?

I will be hosting a live Zoom chat in February to give you some more inspiration and support – just keep an eye out for the announcement 🙂

Here are some of the little ‘hacks’ that help me stay motivated and engaged:

1. Finishing small tasks that give me an immediate boost of confidence. This could mean making a delicious, healthy, and nutritious dinner that won’t leave me craving chocolate. Or something more related to my goal, like editing only one chapter of my ‘big memoir. Or, taking Luna out for half of the walk because it’s too cold for the full one LOL.

2. Processing and decluttering. By cleaning my desk each night and taking time each week to clear the administrative tasks off of my to-do list, I feel a lot less overwhelmed. Unfinished house projects can also suck out my motivation, because it’s like they are screaming ‘failure’ or ‘you’ll never get on top of things’ at me every time I notice them. For the huge projects, I either go to #1, or I gently redirect the screaming voices by reminding myself that I love living in my warm, cozy as-is house. 🙂

3. Get plenty of sleep, laughter, and play. Seriously. The only thing I’m motivated for when I’m tired is to watch a movie or play Two Dots on my phone LOL… Laughing and playing with Luna each morning turns out to be a shot of energy that lasts a lot longer than a shot of espresso (laughter and play time releases endorphins).

4. You don’t have to do it alone. Staying engaged and motivated is easier with a team – a close friend who keeps you accountable, or a coach (let me know if you need one :)).

So, what comes up for you when you think about the relationship between time and reward?

How can you be more engaged and present as you work through your struggles, and move through the challenges?

I will be hosting a live Zoom chat in February to give you some more inspiration and support – just keep an eye out for the announcement 🙂

The Relationship Between Time and Reward

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Let music+story

+coaching help you

figure out

AND live your

dream life.

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