This week, I’m going to let myself write about love – free-flowing and without trying to make a point. I hope you enjoy it! (Or skip it and check out the song below and the amazing Love story it carries)…
️
“When you begin to touch your heart or let your heart be touched, you begin to discover that it’s bottomless…” – Pema Chodron
“What do you do when love is gone?” a reporter asked me in a TV interview. We were talking about my book, (un)Broken, and the part where I wrote “Pain is there to remind us how much we love and are loved.”
I didn’t expect this question and I didn’t answer right away. I knew she was referring to my husband’s passing. I took a breath and let Love come to me and guide my answer.
“I don’t think love is ever gone. People come and go through our lives. Love is the only thing that stays.” I said slowly, steadying my heart as each thought, each triggered memory of love bringing up swarms of emotions in an instant, emotions that moved and flapped inside of me like fish caught up in a net.
I remembered tears, and pain worse than anything I can describe. And I remembered laugher and holding hands, and running on the beach and driving through the nights. I remembered kisses and “I do’s”. I remembered the births of our babies. I remembered warm skin, bandages and tubes that covered it in the end.
I remembered anger and despair, and yelling and fighting and crying together as both of us, exhausted, begged love to fix it all. I remembered Love holding our folded hands even when it was over and I had to let go.
I took another breath. I worried that the pause was too long, as inside my head (and my heart) I had rewinded a lifetime of love that was always there even at times when I couldn’t feel it.
“It can’t be gone.” I repeated.
“We might try to disconnect from it, numb our hearts because we are afraid of the pain that comes when we get separated from those we love – and who love us. But that doesn’t make love go away.
It waits for us without judgment – and whenever we are ready, whenever we heal, get stronger, rebuild trust, it’s there for us to feel it again.”
️
Because once you let your heart be touched, you truly discover that it’s bottomless.
The capacity to love becomes bigger than any container that my TV interviewer wants me to define when she asks “Will you love again?”
“I can’t love again, because I never stop loving,” I tell her, ruining her hopes for good TV.
Romantic relationships and marriages can be over, but Love is constant.
It’s steady and always there. We carry it inside and we recognize it in other people, in nature, in little joys, and a million life situations.
We are always rediscovering it and we always go back to It. We let Love heal us, teach us, open new paths for us, guide new people into our lives, fill our hearts and give us strength. Love always grows, it can’t diminish or disappear.
Only when we decide to withdraw love, we disconnect from it and we can’t feel it.
My love for Matthew can never be gone in order for a new love to come in. It will always be a part of me. We go forward together. ️
I can write a love letter to Matthew while listening to David sing, and I feel the bottomlessness of my heart that was made to love.
I didn’t always feel this way… I was scared for most of my life. I was hurt and my heart was holding on to the crumbs of love, afraid to open up. It took many small acts of love that touched my heart and slowly healed me…
So, if you aren’t feeling this bottomlessness, if it scares you to think about it, if the thoughts of loving and being loved cause you pain, it’s ok.
Be gentle with your heart and with yourself. Love is waiting for you without judgment. Take as long as you need.
Or if your love feels like it’s overflowing – because right now we are a bit distanced and we can’t stand on the town square giving free hugs, or you feel lonely because you haven’t found a way to your person yet, take a breath and let your heart pump it through, delivering it your whole body first – nourishing it and renewing it – and then exhaling it into the world.
Our world desperately needs a little bit of love in the air.
You are loved.
I write these words each week out of love for you – whoever you are. From my bottomless heart into yours!
This week, I’m going to let myself write about love – free-flowing and without trying to make a point. I hope you enjoy it! (Or skip it and check out the song below and the amazing Love story it carries)…
️
“When you begin to touch your heart or let your heart be touched, you begin to discover that it’s bottomless…” – Pema Chodron
“What do you do when love is gone?” a reporter asked me in a TV interview. We were talking about my book, (un)Broken, and the part where I wrote “Pain is there to remind us how much we love and are loved.”
I didn’t expect this question and I didn’t answer right away. I knew she was referring to my husband’s passing. I took a breath and let Love come to me and guide my answer.
“I don’t think love is ever gone. People come and go through our lives. Love is the only thing that stays.” I said slowly, steadying my heart as each thought, each triggered memory of love bringing up swarms of emotions in an instant, emotions that moved and flapped inside of me like fish caught up in a net.
I remembered tears, and pain worse than anything I can describe. And I remembered laugher and holding hands, and running on the beach and driving through the nights. I remembered kisses and “I do’s”. I remembered the births of our babies. I remembered warm skin, bandages and tubes that covered it in the end.
I remembered anger and despair, and yelling and fighting and crying together as both of us, exhausted, begged love to fix it all. I remembered Love holding our folded hands even when it was over and I had to let go.
I took another breath. I worried that the pause was too long, as inside my head (and my heart) I had rewinded a lifetime of love that was always there even at times when I couldn’t feel it.
“It can’t be gone.” I repeated.
“We might try to disconnect from it, numb our hearts because we are afraid of the pain that comes when we get separated from those we love – and who love us. But that doesn’t make love go away.
It waits for us without judgment – and whenever we are ready, whenever we heal, get stronger, rebuild trust, it’s there for us to feel it again.”
️
Because once you let your heart be touched, you truly discover that it’s bottomless.
The capacity to love becomes bigger than any container that my TV interviewer wants me to define when she asks “Will you love again?”
“I can’t love again, because I never stop loving,” I tell her, ruining her hopes for good TV.
Romantic relationships and marriages can be over, but Love is constant.
It’s steady and always there. We carry it inside and we recognize it in other people, in nature, in little joys, and a million life situations. We are always rediscovering it and we always go back to It.
We let Love heal us, teach us, open new paths for us, guide new people into our lives, fill our hearts and give us strength. Love always grows, it can’t diminish or disappear.
Only when we decide to withdraw love, we disconnect from it and we can’t feel it.
My love for Matthew can never be gone in order for a new love to come in. It will always be a part of me. We go forward together. ️
I can write a love letter to Matthew while listening to David sing, and I feel the bottomlessness of my heart that was made to love.
I didn’t always feel this way… I was scared for most of my life. I was hurt and my heart was holding on to the crumbs of love, afraid to open up. It took many small acts of love that touched my heart and slowly healed me…
So, if you aren’t feeling this bottomlessness, if it scares you to think about it, if the thoughts of loving and being loved cause you pain, it’s ok.
Be gentle with your heart and with yourself. Love is waiting for you without judgment. Take as long as you need.
Or if your love feels like it’s overflowing – because right now we are a bit distanced and we can’t stand on the town square giving free hugs, or you feel lonely because you haven’t found a way to your person yet, take a breath and let your heart pump it through, delivering it your whole body first – nourishing it and renewing it – and then exhaling it into the world.
Our world desperately needs a little bit of love in the air.
You are loved.
I write these words each week out of love for you – whoever you are. From my bottomless heart into yours!
Music
Today, I’m pulling a very tender song+story out of a dusty box where I keep dozens of projects that I poured my heart into, many of which never reached more than a handful of people… (Ok, I wrote this for dramatic purposes. This song is actually up on my YouTube channel – but kind of tucked away. You have to know it’s there to look for it. LOL)
I’m not going to write a description, only a “teaser” because I really want you to watch the videos 🙂
Here it is: Till We Meet Again – a love story and a song that an old violin remembered despite its broken strings.
Today, I’m pulling a very tender song+story out of a dusty box where I keep dozens of projects that I poured my heart into, many of which never reached more than a handful of people… (Ok, I wrote this for dramatic purposes. This song is actually up on my YouTube channel – but kind of tucked away. You have to know it’s there to look for it. LOL)
I’m not going to write a description, only a “teaser” because I really want you to watch the videos 🙂
Here it is: Till We Meet Again – a love story and a song that an old violin remembered despite its broken strings.
Here is a ‘behind the scenes’ video (this is me 10 years ago :))
Here is a ‘behind the scenes’ video (this is me 10 years ago :))
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AND live your dream life.
Get weekly emails, exclusive content. special offers and
event updates directly to your inbox.