What I Wish I Knew At Age 15

And just like that, Spring Break was over.

Blais and I dropped off Dante at his apartment, Evan at his dorm (luckily they go to the same college), and we got on the freeway for an eight-and-a-half hour ride home.

“Are you going to be able to drive by yourself?” Blais asked me.

I told him I had driven hundreds of thousands of miles and another 500 wouldn’t be a problem. He wanted to make sure I had something to entertain me in case he falls asleep.

“I have so much to think about, Blais,” I responded. “And when I get tired of thinking, I’ll just take a mind break. I’ll pay attention to my breathing, I’ll notice the clouds and the sky and the passing trees. But I won’t think about any of it. I love doing that, so no worries.”

He smiled with relief, kissed me on the cheek and moved to the back seat.

For a while, I thought about the week with my boys. It was perfect. Each minute of it. Even when it was pouring rain and we had to change plans. When we are together, my world feels like it’s in perfect harmony. It’s all sunshine inside my heart.

Then I thought about what I should write to you.

Right away, a subject line came to me: Three Things I Wish I Knew at 15 (and 18, and 20… and 30, and 40, LOL) – three things the boys and I talked about.

And just like that, Spring Break was over.

Blais and I dropped off Dante at his apartment, Evan at his dorm (luckily they go to the same college), and we got on the freeway for an eight-and-a-half hour ride home.

“Are you going to be able to drive by yourself?” Blais asked me.

I told him I had driven hundreds of thousands of miles and another 500 wouldn’t be a problem. He wanted to make sure I had something to entertain me in case he falls asleep.

“I have so much to think about, Blais,” I responded. “And when I get tired of thinking, I’ll just take a mind break. I’ll pay attention to my breathing, I’ll notice the clouds and the sky and the passing trees. But I won’t think about any of it. I love doing that, so no worries.”

He smiled with relief, kissed me on the cheek and moved to the back seat.

For a while, I thought about the week with my boys. It was perfect. Each minute of it. Even when it was pouring rain and we had to change plans. When we are together, my world feels like it’s in perfect harmony. It’s all sunshine inside my heart.

Then I thought about what I should write to you.

Right away, a subject line came to me: Three Things I Wish I Knew at 15 (and 18, and 20… and 30, and 40, LOL) – three things the boys and I talked about.

(1) There will always be deadlines and crunch time – in school, in college, and in life. We can’t control the crunch, but we can control how we feel while we are in it.

(All three of my boys just got out of finals week so this was a hot topic.)

No matter how much we plan and prepare for tests, finals, the launch of a product, the opening of a show or a business, the birth of a child, family gathering, etc., we will never be able to control stuff that may come up at the last minute and cause stress.

It’s during that time that we put in extra hours of work, eat something fast, drink the second, third, or fifth cup of coffee (if you are a grown-up, of course), and throw our bodies off balance. This only adds more stress to our bodies and creates additional worry and anxiety.

Pausing often to check with ourselves on how we are handling it is what we can control. Taking deep breaths, reminding ourselves that we are doing our best, and then letting go of worry, perfection, and even the attachment to the outcome. Remembering that all is fine. Breathe.

(2) Replace the phrase ‘work is looming over me’ with something less… looming LOL. Our brains pick up on the messages and words that we use. When something is looming over us, we don’t have much control over it, and of course it will make us feel anxious. The project or a deadline can be carefully laid out in front of us, planned, and then executed step-by-step, right? Just a tiny shift in being mindful about the language we use can make a huge difference.

Another one is “I’ll never get this done in time.” The more you say it, the more anxious you become. Instead, think something more constructive, like “the challenge is on,” or just focus on the next step and then the next and notice your progress. Mindfulness is everything.

(3) Sleep – whether you are a kid, a teenager, or a grown-up, you need sleep. Especially during crunch time – your mind will clear out and you will be more productive. We all need to allow our bodies and minds the proper rest – in order to get replenished and properly restored. There is a lot of great research on why sleep is so important for our health!

To balance stressful times, we need to add healthy nutritional meals, physical activity, quiet time, and emotional clearing. That’s what spring breaks are for really – for kids to go home, eat some good meals, play in the backyard, and rest feeling safe and secure in their parents’ nest – or even mama’s lap – no shame around that! 🙂 And when we get older, or no longer have that ‘nest,’ we still need to find a support system that provides that).

I don’t expect my boys to practice these at all times – but just talking about it, and being aware of things like this, helps them – and me – to be more mindful about how we manage stress and anxiety, protect our health and create a life of wellbeing.

I hope this was helpful to you too!